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The unbelievable horror began, if it ever and never really ended, when Fred walked in on her parents making love on the living room coffee table. Like all children (even when grown), her first muddled impression was that her father was hurting her mother. Or perhaps fixing her back. This is one author we can always count on to keep us howling into the night with her irreverent plots and nutty characters. A mermaid named Fred, how can you go wrong? Fred is not your ordinary mermaid. She's not blonde. She's not buxom. And she's definitely not perky. In fact, Fred can be downright cranky. And it doesn't help matters that her hair is blue.
While volunteering at the New England Aquarium, Fred learns that there are weird levels of toxins in the local seawater. A gorgeous marine biologist wants her help investigating. So does her merperson ruler, the High Prince of the Black Sea. You'd think it would be easy for a mermaid to get to the bottom of things. Think again! Here’s a taste…
We aren’t exaggerating the insanity of the Mary Janice, we promise. Here’s another taste:
"It’s not as bad as you think, Fred," the Defiler of Her Mother said. He had, thankfully, put on pants. Fred’s mom was still prancing around in the couch blanket, all "nature’s never wrong" and "be empowered, not embarrassed" and "you shouldn’t cover up God’s handiwork".
Is there anything sillier than a grown-up hippy?
"I’m sorry you had to catch us in an intimate moment.."
"Bird watching Wednesday," my mother said solemnly, then giggled again.
Fred groaned and looked around for a fork or a spoon or a gravy boat to gouge out her eyes. And ears. Because her mother was referring to the cardinal tattooed on her left butt cheek. Other mothers had laugh lines and wrinkles. Not animal tattoos. |
| Book Format: Paperback |
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